cycle 5 task 05, Sophia Le Fraga, “Lieber wütend als traurig”
Kristen Gallagher
I find it hard to believe that Bieber was as reactionary in the autumn of 1953 as his ”Mona Lisa” suggests — but then I wasn’t there. Neither were the painters of the portrait, who reportedly based the image on Mona Lisa’s experience with Hillary Clinton at Wellesley in the early 1960s. What the painting lack in historical accuracy, it makes up for in its prescience. The image shows a young punk ass Bieber at the point of his total eclipse of Mona Lisa, who became famous for her teaching that, above all, a woman’s duty is to stand behind her man, and to replace her own face with his, which Bieber says was a trademark move she learned from Clinton, plus a good deal more. No doubt Mona Lisa had a teacher who inspired her to trade in the bohemian freedom of Berkeley for a crack at being one of Wellesley’s future corporate wives, so that she could become what she was meant to be all along, having been trained as a female: Mona Lisa Bieber.
2084: Take us to the future. How does this greenhouse heat up?
Rin Johnson
RESPONSES
Erica Baum
cycle 5 task 03, Erica Baum, The RealReal
Brandon Brown
cycle 5 task 03, Brandon Brown
Felipe Cussen
cycle 5 task 03, Felipe Cussen
Natalie Czech
cycle 5 task 03, Natalie Czech
Kristen Gallagher
7 Investments that sound crazy now, but will make you RICH & FAMOUS in 2084:
1. Buy land in West Virginia. Ever wish you had bought a building in New York City back in the 70s when everything was cheap? You’d be rich by now if you did, right? Well, stop regretting the past and look toward the future! In 2084, the mountains of West Virginia will be beachfront property. Invest now! Have somewhere to escape to when the floods come! Charge people tons of money to occupy your new beach front! You will become so powerful that you will probably end up being President! Real Estate is POWER!
2. Buy Solar Panels for your future home in West Virginia. There will be no more petroleum oil left on earth by 2084, and, ironically enough, oil plays an important part in the manufacture of solar panels. So, in 2084 the manufacture of solar panels will already have been a thing of the long-ago-past. BUY NOW, because in 2084 the only source of power will be the SUN! Now people will flock to you not only for the safety of your coastal property, but because you are the only person with access to electricity. Talk about POWER!
3. Build a silo on your West Virginia property and fill it with sunscreen (but never tell anyone what’s in there cuz they’re all gonna want some). By 2084 another “thing of the past” will be the ozone layer. You think you get sunburn now? Heh, that’s gonna be nothing in 2084! Be sure you and your descendants have enough sunscreen to survive the future, cuz it’s gonna be a Disco Inferno at your place in West Virginia! And, believe it or not, petroleum oil ALSO plays an important part in the creation of sunscreen! So, your stockpile silo of sunscreen is gonna be TIGHT! Your ability to stand in the sun and only get mildly burned will be seen as MAGIC! (See Logan’s Run for evidence.)
4. Another Silo / Vat: Insect repellant. Nope, not for mosquitoes! There will be no water, so all the mosquitoes will die. However, roaches are known to grow larger and larger the more desert-like a climate becomes, so by 2084, there’s a damn good chance the DINOSAURS will return, but this time they’ll be in the shape of roaches! You will not be able to fight them off with a pocket-sized can of “Off,” you will also need enough SOAKERS (machine-gun-sized water pistols) for your whole family, in the likely event of invasion.
5. Buy Several of the “Pee Totaler,” a urine-to-water converter. With no more naturally occurring water, and machine manufacture brought to a halt by Peak Oil, stock up on a few Pee Totalers now while you can! Not only will this ensure you have drinking water, but you can also charge your citizens for use of your Pee Totaler, their drinking water, and you will be in a position to pick and choose who gets water and who doesn’t! You will RULE in 2084!
6. Begin farming small insects. Crickets are extremely high in calcium. Caterpillars are a fantastic source of iron, thiamin, and riboflavin. In 2010 the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization said that humans should start farming and consuming insects to stave off the hunger when changes to the environment make meat production impossible. By 2084, you and yours will be eating insects daily, so start farming now!
7. Begin Cognitive Therapy with the sole focus of getting over your Ick Factor. What is the “ick factor”? It’s something to GET OVER if you want to survive in 2084! University of Pennsylvania professor Paul Rozin (nicknamed the King of Disgust) has been examining this issue for decades. In a 1986 study, he asked students to drink a cup of juice and rate it. Once that was done he put a cockroach into a cup of the same juice, stirred it around a bit before removing it, and asked them to drink. The bug was dead, and he assured them that it had been sterilized. But not surprisingly, almost no one wanted a sip. In their mind, the cup was contaminated. So Rozin took a brand-new, clean cup and poured fresh, uncontaminated juice into it. This last cup of juice scored lower ratings. The repulsion was so intense that it tainted unrelated objects. So as you can see, the Ick Factor is irrational! Below is a video with Rozin testing ordinary citizens’ ICK reactions to recycled urine water, where he recommends beginning to break down your Ick Factor NOW by drinking all your drinks from a hospital bedpan. However you decide to go at it, just start preparing: 2084 is gonna be ICKY!
For written narratives and graphic “novels”, consider writing in the genre–at least 1000 words or four pages, suitable for publication as an Amazon Kindle edition. There are helpful guides here and here. All task submissions will be considered for publication on Skeleton Man Press‘s forthcoming Bone Editions erotica imprint, at the discretion, of course, of the editor (ie, me). Finally, keep in mind that Kindle erotica is a thriving business, so this is really a great opportunity to make some quick cash and, perhaps, launch a new career.
A new constitution for the future (individual, country, world). According to recent papers issued by the OECD, “International experience has shown there is no single model for the constitutional reform. A wide scope of modalities exists for amending and reforming a constitution […]. Each case is different and evolving.” (https://www.oecd.org/gov/public-governance-review-chile-2017.pdf, key finding Nº1, p. 25).
cycle 5 task 01, Natalie Czech, Reading L. Niedecker
Andrew Durbin
cycle 5 task 01, Andrew Durbin
Ben Fama
cycle 5 task 01, Ben Fama
Robert Fitterman
cycle 5 task 01, Robert Fittermancycle 5 task 01, Robert Fitterman
Sophia Le Fraga
cycle 5 task 01, Sophia Le Fraga
Kristen Gallagher
ESCAPE TO NEW JERSEY; or, getting out of NYC on foot or bicycle, and you may have to settle for Long Island
Living or working in NYC can be rewarding. But as both a police state and an island, it also poses some unique challenges, challenges we believe will be magnified greatly should an emergency arise.
cycle 5 task 01, Angela Genusa, A pocket protector to keep your clothes from being stained with blotches of red ink while editing or rewriting your $1.50 Pocket Constitution.
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit… “There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain…”.
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